I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
