OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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