I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I could fuck to npr.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
