well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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