last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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