Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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