she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
