Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
