Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
