I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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