The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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