The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
