Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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