Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
