ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
