So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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