After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
