Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
