I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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