Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
A bitchslap is in order.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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