So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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