You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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