Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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