My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
