Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize