and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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