I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
how drunk are you?
Several
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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