Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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