I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
