hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize