worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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