he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
