The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
