maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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