Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
