We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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