yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
