I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize