I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
