If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I've blown a few things in my day
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
