Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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