One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
