he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
