You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
