time to smoke my breakfast
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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