i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
