You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
