Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
