i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize