Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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