omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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