just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
