i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
