I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
