she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Hello my rib-scented angel!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
