Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
