He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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