So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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