i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
