Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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