Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
