We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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