i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
